Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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