the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
