Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
