While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
