yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
