I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
