Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
