I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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