Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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