and she was petting her beer can
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
