wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
