I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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