also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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