Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
