Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
