I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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