My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I understand Curling. That high.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
