6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
