Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
