I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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