Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
