We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
