Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
