why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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