Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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