just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize