I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
