someone threw a dead crab at me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
