I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize