You can't special order awesome
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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