he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
