i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
