The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
