My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
