you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
