Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
