You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
