lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
