What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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