I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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