it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
