so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
