you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
