there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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