i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
