No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
