ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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