she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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