Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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