Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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