Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize