We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
