if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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