I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
