I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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