if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
