apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
