so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
