I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
