i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
