I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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