Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
