at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
