I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize